A Huge Collection of Sardarji's Joke
Posted in collection, funny, huge, joke, jokes, photo, photocopies, Sardar, Sardarji
1. Jurassic Park
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching,
he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,
pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
2. Brain Tumor
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is
on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is
celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab,
aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
3. Photocopy
One Sardar needed two plain papers but he had only one. Do you know what he did:
photocopied the one which he had. sardar are fun aren't
5. One more Plane Crash
Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane,
There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers.
Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them.
Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America"
again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia".
But the condition still the same.
The next is Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".
6. A Plane journey
A jet ran in to some turbulent weather.
To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.
"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row.
Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.
"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".
7. Crime Story
"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta.
"Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta.
"only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".
8. New House
Santa meets Banta Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".
9. Salt Seller
Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.
"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller.
But the one who sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller."
10. Marathon Race
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar
13th Floor
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
2. Phone Book
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story
whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book."
3. Cows Don't Fly
A sardar was walking along, w! hen he looked up to
observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."
4. Dark Room
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
5. Relaxing
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady
came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar
answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and
asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me
! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same
question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoo! nd
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "
6. Wash Basin
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash
his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running
and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".
7. Three Engines
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed..
There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than
scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can
fly just fine on
two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has
failed and
our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... ! we
still have one
engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked,
"If we lose one more engine,we'll be up here all day!"
8. Detective Job
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a
Sardarji,
one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each
applicant just one
question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man
arrived for his
interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man
answered
without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he
left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same
question. He
replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man
who then
left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same
question.
He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think
about it?"
The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorro! w." When the Sardarji
arrived home
, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got
the job,
and I'm already investigating a murder.
9. Guooonn, Guooonn
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep
with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains
persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind
and not
for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now
starts singing
a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds
the mosquito
falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
10. Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of ! them was crying like
anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied,
"I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished
and
asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my
urine test."
11. Bihari-Sardar
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives
and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders
Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because
he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to
substitute all
references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes
with, "There
was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from
one of the
sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar g! aye hai kya?"
12. Wrong Answer
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION
office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by
theDepartment
manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed
that both
men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said,
"Thank you
for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".
Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.
This being
Punjab I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the
one
question that you got wrong.
"Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put
down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"
13. Road to Stati! on
Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road
near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done!
The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the
railway
station to my house!!!!!!!!"
14. Green TV
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
15. Just a second
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs
up.
16. Salary Expected
Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.
17. Crocodile Boots
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting croc!
odiles
and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs, angrily
exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"
18. Thermos Flask
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
19. Answering Machine
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting co! mplaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
20. Photocopies
What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching,
he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,
pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
2. Brain Tumor
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is
on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is
celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab,
aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
3. Photocopy
One Sardar needed two plain papers but he had only one. Do you know what he did:
photocopied the one which he had. sardar are fun aren't
5. One more Plane Crash
Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane,
There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers.
Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them.
Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America"
again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia".
But the condition still the same.
The next is Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".
6. A Plane journey
A jet ran in to some turbulent weather.
To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.
"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row.
Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.
"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".
7. Crime Story
"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta.
"Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta.
"only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".
8. New House
Santa meets Banta Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".
9. Salt Seller
Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.
"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller.
But the one who sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller."
10. Marathon Race
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar
13th Floor
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
2. Phone Book
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story
whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book."
3. Cows Don't Fly
A sardar was walking along, w! hen he looked up to
observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."
4. Dark Room
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
5. Relaxing
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady
came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar
answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and
asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me
! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same
question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoo! nd
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "
6. Wash Basin
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash
his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running
and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".
7. Three Engines
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed..
There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than
scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can
fly just fine on
two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has
failed and
our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... ! we
still have one
engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked,
"If we lose one more engine,we'll be up here all day!"
8. Detective Job
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a
Sardarji,
one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each
applicant just one
question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man
arrived for his
interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man
answered
without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he
left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same
question. He
replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man
who then
left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same
question.
He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think
about it?"
The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorro! w." When the Sardarji
arrived home
, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got
the job,
and I'm already investigating a murder.
9. Guooonn, Guooonn
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep
with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains
persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind
and not
for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now
starts singing
a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds
the mosquito
falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
10. Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of ! them was crying like
anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied,
"I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished
and
asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my
urine test."
11. Bihari-Sardar
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives
and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders
Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because
he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to
substitute all
references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes
with, "There
was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from
one of the
sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar g! aye hai kya?"
12. Wrong Answer
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION
office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by
theDepartment
manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed
that both
men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said,
"Thank you
for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".
Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.
This being
Punjab I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the
one
question that you got wrong.
"Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put
down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"
13. Road to Stati! on
Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road
near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done!
The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the
railway
station to my house!!!!!!!!"
14. Green TV
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
15. Just a second
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs
up.
16. Salary Expected
Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.
17. Crocodile Boots
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting croc!
odiles
and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs, angrily
exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"
18. Thermos Flask
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
19. Answering Machine
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting co! mplaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
20. Photocopies
What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
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