1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship

2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of
course singing in the rain!

3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"

4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still
survive, but the villian would die in the first dip.

5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the
hero a lesson.

6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees. And
last but not least

7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserve for SC/ST/OBC