One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

written by Carolyn Joyce Carty

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair

with his secretary.

One day they went to her place

and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep

and woke up at 8 PM .

The man hurriedly dressed

and told his lover to take his shoes

outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.

We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!'


The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time

for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant

and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery

to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child

he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can

be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

'Not this time!'

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,

about to be cremated,

and made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part

he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician

commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated

with such an impressive private part.

It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,

stuffed it into his briefcase,

and took it home

'I have something to show

you won't believe,' he said to his wife,

opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,

'Schwartz is dead!

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover

when she heard her husband

opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,

then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'

she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired

as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied,

'the Smiths bought one and I liked it

so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,

not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,

went to the kitchen and returned

with a sandwich and a beer..

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,

went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed..

He glanced at the menu and asked:

'How much for a nice juicy steak

and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.

'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:

'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs

with your wife?'

The bartender replied:

'The same thing I'm doing

to his business down here.'

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:

'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,

'I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend,

her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied,

'now just rest and let the poison work..'

Source : CNN-IBN

New Delhi: First it was unusual sightings in the skyspace of Prime Minister's 7, RCR residence in Capital, and now "flying objects" spotted in Bangalore - the UFO theory seems to be gaining credence.

IBNLive reader Afzal Khan sent us pictures and a first-hand account:

Today (Monday) at around 9 pm (IST), I and my brothers saw a bright, slow-moving object which looked like a group of lights moving in a triangular formation in the sky towards west/north-west direction.

This object was definitely not an aeroplane as it was moving very slowly.

We observed the object from around 9 pm until 9.30 pm before it disappeared into the distance.

During this time we managed to take some pictures with my camera.

The astronomical/space/science departments of any activity in the sky during the above time can be confirmed.

We live in Jayanagar area of Bangalore.

Another thing that we noticed during this time was an aircraft that took-off from Bangalore Airport was flying very close to this object.

It is possible that the pilot of that aircraft could have spotted this object as well.

Sri Lanka has been rated as the third most dangerous country in the world for journalists after Iraq and Somalia and just ahead of Pakistan, by an independent monitoring body, the Press Emblem Campaign.

Sri Lanka ranks third, with seven journalists killed in 2007 against four last year due to the intensity of the civil war, said the PEC Ticking Clock that monitors the journalist causalities on a monthly basis.

India shares the ninth place along with Democratic Republic of the Congo, Eritrea, and Guatemala, with two journalists killed in each country in 2007.

Pakistan comes fourth with five journalist casualties. "The continued deterioration is clear in Pakistan, where five journalists were killed," the PEC said.

The PEC, founded in June 2004 by a group of journalists from several countries based in Switzerland , is an independent humanitarian association aiming to strengthen the legal protection and safety of journalists in zones of conflict and civil unrest.

According to the campaign monitoring system, never before have so many journalists been killed globally in one year, the total up to date is 110, as compared with 96 in 2006 and 68 in 2005.

"Therefore, the 2007 year causality figure reflects a new deterioration for freedom of the press worldwide," it said, adding 2007's tally represents a 14 per cent increase over the 2006 figure.

In total, journalists have been killed in 27 countries led by those killed in Iraq, the most dangerous for the fifth consecutive year, with 50 journalists killed in 2007, against 48 in 2006 and at least 250 since the war was launched in Iraq in March 2003.

WASHINGTON: The World Bank has approved a USD 225 million loan to Bihar aimed to support the state in implementing reforms in fiscal policy, public financial management, and governance in order to boost economic growth.

"While India has emerged as one of the fastest growing countries in the world, it faces the challenge of addressing widening economic disparities. Bihar is the poorest state in India with about 39 per cent of population living in poverty," The Bank said in a statement.

The First Bihar Development Policy Loan is designed to improve fiscal policy, public financial management and governance.

"It aims to boost economic growth through reforms in agriculture, investment climate, and basic infrastructure, with an emphasis on roads. It will also support improving public service delivery in education and social protection," it said.

"Bihar is a crucial state for poverty reduction and inclusive growth in India," said Isabel Guerrero, World Bank Country Director for India.

Bihar registered the economic growth of 4 per cent in recent years which is much slower than the rest of the country, while the state has 8.5 per cent of India's population, it accounts for only 1.6 per cent of the country's GDP.

"It is India's poorest as well as one of its slowest growing states. But with arable land, water resources, favourable demography, and unexploited tourism potential, Bihar has the necessary preconditions to accelerate development. By focusing on accelerating growth and improving public service delivery, this operation will assist Bihar towards achieving the development goals set out in its Eleventh Plan," she added.

Source : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/W...ow/2639492.cms