I'm watching my favorite show (Koffee With Karan ) on TV, when the phone rings.

There's a agitated lady on the phone.

Lady: "Hello? BSNL? My phone has not been working for...."
Me (interrupting) : "I think you have the wrong number"
Lady: "Oh! I'm sorry..."

and I hang up the phone. 3 seconds later, it rings again. It's the same lady.

Lady: "Hello? BSNL? My phone is not working..."
Me: "Ma'am, the number you are dialing is the wrong number!", and hang up the phone.

I return to the TV show. It's a juicy episode with Rakhee Savant, and she's bitching about Kareena. And the phone rings again.

Lady: "Hello? BSNL? Listen, don't play games with me, OK? I know this is the right number. Don't try to avoid me. Do you know who I am?"

I realized that this lady was not going to let me watch the show unless someone listened to her complaint.

Me: "Welcome to BSNL's automated fault booking service. To continue in English, press one."

beep

The lady had actually pressed the '1' on her dial pad. Interesting. I thought I'd have some fun.

Me: "To register a complaint, please press the last 5 digits of your Driving License number after the beep. BEEP"

I can hear the lady furiously rummaging through her bag looking for her Driving License. After a while

beep-beep-beep-beep-beep


She had actually found it pretty fast.

Me: "Because of all the SPAM we have been receiving, we will now perform a check to see if you are human. Please enter the result of 35 multiplied by 4 divided by 12"

I can hear the lady shouting out to someone in the background.

Lady: "Prakash, quick! What is 35 times 4 by 12?"
Prakash: "What? Why do you need that?"
Lady: "I'm registering a complaint for our dead phone"
Prakash (sounding somewhat confused): "But why would you need..."
Lady: "JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION"
Prakash: "err..it's...aaaa...elevent point....errr..."

beep-beep

The lady actually enters 1-1 on the dial pad.

Me: "Your complaint has been registered. Thank you for calling BSNL"

The lady sounds pleased. I can hear her speaking to "Prakash"

Lady: "I like BSNL. They have such a high tech system. They didn't even have to ask me for the number of our landline that is dead. Cool!"

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one
of her students the teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While
Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think
Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide
and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?


Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a
bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot
of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get
it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his
wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"