A Nun asked her class to write notes to God.


Here are some they handed in:

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Dear God :

I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.


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Dear God:

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?


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Dear God:

Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.


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Dear God:

If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.


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Dear God :

I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.


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Dear God:

In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?


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Dear God :

Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?


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Dear God:

Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?


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Dear God:

Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?


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Dear God:

Who draws the lines around the countries?


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Dear God :

I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?


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Dear God:

Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.


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Dear God:

Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.


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Dear God:

Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.


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Dear God:

I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.


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Dear God:

You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.


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Dear God :

I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.


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Dear God:

Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.


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Dear God :

My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?


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Dear God:

I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.


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Dear God :

We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title : What should I do to marry a rich guy?


I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.


I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, and gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (My target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty





Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:



Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.


Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me…


signed,

J.P. Morgan

I only want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland .

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..
Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me

"Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail account!


IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10 seconds,
a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m. sharp..........


Now give me a Break!!!

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM



PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER



ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER



DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE



GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE



THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS



SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME



ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY



ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT



SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S



A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE



THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE



ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE







AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:



MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER