Showing posts with label guys. Show all posts
This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...................She had him arrested.
Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.
His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant..
She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'
The case was dismissed.........! !!!!!!!
When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...................She had him arrested.
Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.
His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant..
She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'
The case was dismissed.........! !!!!!!!
>1. We're not as big of perverts as you think we all are.
>
>2. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend IS a loser.
>
>3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses too.
>
>4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
>
>5. Don't treat us like crap.
>
>6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out
>with you.
>
>7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
>
>8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just say it's
>that time of the month and nothing more.
>
>9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us to think that our
>mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
>
>10. We'll never shave our legs. So get over it.
>
>11. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
>
>12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell
>us, if you don't.
>
>13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
>
>14. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98
>degrees, or what any other guy look like.
>
>15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at
>least we can stand up and pee.
>
>16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean you don't
>have to apologize when you're wrong.
>
>17. You expect us to say and do sweet things about you, but it would
>be nice if you did the same every once in a while.
>
>18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans
>sometimes.
>
>19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get
>what you wish for.
>
>20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we'd say."
>
>21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh
>when we believe you.
>
>22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours
>better anyway.
>
>23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a
>relationship.
>
>24. PMS is not an excuse.
>
>25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should
>put it up when you're done.
>
>26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn
>us on.
>
>27. Always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.
>
>28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with
>your friends, but to us its just wrong.
>
>29. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart,
>stick it down our throat, and still want to be friends.
>
>30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but
>we'll pretend like you are anyway.
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1.Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!
