This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India...


1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.



2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."



3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."



4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."



5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"



6. An incident of a leave letter

"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."



7. A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"



8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."



9. Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."



10. Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."



11. Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".



12. Letter writing: -

"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."



13. A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Father : A banker provided by nature

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after

Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.