1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...

3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.

4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would
hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.. ...

5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man

6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.

7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business

8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of
marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have
no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of
$5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new
outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him
because she loves him so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his
computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts,
she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she
loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and
reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she
loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with
the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?

think like a man . . .

(look down for the answer)

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* > > > > > > > He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

> > >

* > > > > > > > Men are Men.... Obviously!!!

>1. We're not as big of perverts as you think we all are.
>
>2. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend IS a loser.
>
>3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses too.
>
>4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
>
>5. Don't treat us like crap.
>
>6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out
>with you.
>
>7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
>
>8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just say it's
>that time of the month and nothing more.
>
>9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us to think that our
>mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
>
>10. We'll never shave our legs. So get over it.
>
>11. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
>
>12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell
>us, if you don't.
>
>13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
>
>14. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98
>degrees, or what any other guy look like.
>
>15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at
>least we can stand up and pee.
>
>16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean you don't
>have to apologize when you're wrong.
>
>17. You expect us to say and do sweet things about you, but it would
>be nice if you did the same every once in a while.
>
>18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans
>sometimes.
>
>19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get
>what you wish for.
>
>20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we'd say."
>
>21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh
>when we believe you.
>
>22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours
>better anyway.
>
>23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a
>relationship.
>
>24. PMS is not an excuse.
>
>25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should
>put it up when you're done.
>
>26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn
>us on.
>
>27. Always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.
>
>28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with
>your friends, but to us its just wrong.
>
>29. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart,
>stick it down our throat, and still want to be friends.
>
>30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but
>we'll pretend like you are anyway.

HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?
When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone seeing you from the other side). So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.

The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.

Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.

I only want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland .

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..
Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me

"Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail account!


IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10 seconds,
a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m. sharp..........


Now give me a Break!!!

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to
confirm that.

2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...

4. "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would
always be around you...


5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you
know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed to some one
else

7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with
you.

8. Theory of relativity.. ....
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...

9. Rule 1:
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her
know
about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from
Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1:
The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private
chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a
handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1:
The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before
things work out, but ultimately it will (some smile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be
the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around
with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.