Showing posts with label differences. Show all posts
A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"
Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
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In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
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In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
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During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
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There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
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Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"
Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
**********
In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
**********
In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
**********
During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
**********
There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
**********
Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"
Difference b/w India & US
Posted in child, dad, differences, George Bush, India, leadership, manmohan singh, MOM, prime minister, son, united states, US
While visiting India , George Bush was invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.
He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says
that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate. "
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam. He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes Mr.President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon returning to Washington , decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice to the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem. "Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Manmohan Singh!"
What is the difference between men and women?
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
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4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.
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6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*******
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.
*******
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*******
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
*******
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
*******
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
*******
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.
4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing
