An American magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit
new scientific theories on ANY subject. Below are the winners:


5th place (Subject: Probability Theory)

If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup
trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number
of highway signs, they will eventually write the complete works of
Shakespeare in Braille.

4th place (Subject: Bio-Mechanics)

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalise the pressure on your
eardrums. This pressure change outside your head unbalances other
people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.

3rd place (Subject: Symbolic Logic)

The Chinese are technologically underdeveloped because each of their
alphabetical characters represents a
whole word or phrase, rather than a single letter. Thus they cannot
use
acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.

2nd place (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics)

Deforestation will eventually cause earthquakes, tidal waves or even
the
total destruction of our planet. Just as a figure-skater's rate of
spin
increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting
down of tall trees may cause the Earth to spin dangerously fast on its
axis with disastrous results.

Winner (Subject: Perpetual Motion)

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet and when toast is
dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of
toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up and the animal is
then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning
inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they
could form the basis of a high-speed monorail s